MELVYN THE BUSH KANGAROO
Should “Trinities” ever happen to you…
Go see Melvyn the Bush Kangaroo!
A Mate, he'll tell you what to do;
“Just hop around without a sound,
And your goddamn Mister will go down.
If you don’t up he will stay all day!
The "Rub” and tight trousers the cause of this,
George, our bum clingers are not bliss!
It’s up to you, just hop on one leg or two,
Hop, hop, hop, Mate... Hop without stop!
Lacking a fair wife for procreation,
Hop or receive eternal damnation!
And thank God you’re Heavy Cavalry,
should see the lads in the Infantry!
Hang that head! Do a walkabout instead!
Hiding small children behind a skirt,
ladies say we are beasts and dirt,
Always insisting this is not right,
They even say lovers cannot fight!
Hop, hop, hop,
Mate... Hop without stop!”
Lt. William Wildman Willoughby
Good morning! Now finished, just in case you' re unable to
find it, from me and my pleasure, I've fastened
the rather descreet,
framed drawing of delectable as well as turnable back and front... of dream goddess, Missy Ellingsworth to the ceiling over your bed, Mate. As you wish... Enjoy the view!
Always Your Unshakable Friend,
Copyright©2013 by Kari M. Knutsen
(Will does not only draw his Sweet Beautiful Angel anymore, he draws
and paints delectable "Goddesses" as well...Ehmmm...)
A "nice" Birthday note from well meaning Robert McGregor, who hardly ever is lost for words...
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY MELVYN!
Mornin'! Rise... an' shine, man! Smile! Missy Ellingsworth won't see ye lost a bloody
tooth yesterday in t' goddamn brawl. Hoping yer chin is all savvy by now, we've gone to see to t' horses. Back from t'stables in an hour... an' t'usual waterin' hole mate!
We'll pay t' groom an' t'lad. Aye!
T´hell with cake an´tea, Lt. Cavanaugh!
Dragoons and t'Hussars still mad as hell... Marc invited a few from t'Heavy Cavalry. Our jolly good 1. Royal Life Guards Mates...
Those an' more from the Infantry... even Officers from t'95Th. Rifles be comin’ at 1100 for a bloomin' bruncheon, man! Ready as spinsters on Midsummer's Eve... We'll be havin' bloody games an' all says Marcus. Infantry against t'Cavalry!
Damn their eyes! 3 smashingly fine bottles o'blended Scottish Claymore Whiskey... 1st. Prize! Eh, wot?
Hell and Halleluiah, Brother!
Last this bonnie evenin',
but not least... Yer Mates Lt. Will Willoughby, Marcus Callaghan… an´me... Be Celebratin’ yer Birthday with ye at our favorite Pub; "Ye Olde Camel & Bent Needle."
Good old Artie Whitcombe
says t'night is special. Aye!
Pints an´spirits be on t'house an' no need t'pay for t'damn beer barrel explodin' breakin' a mirror yesterday Artie says as well. Aye! T' “Baccus Boys" and t' “Casanova
Club” are invited an' comin' to t'damn flamboyant supper, an´ Scotland´s finest whiskey at t'Turn Pike Inn... with Port an' cigars… an´last. but not least...…
Ladies r' afters at … ye know where… all included- Aye! Aware we're on halfpay... t'ladies bein' awfully sweet... an' unwillin'... te be lettin' other bloody bastards in. Aye! Willoughby saw t'that.
t'best apple dumpling shops... up front on those ladies... all 15 surely wearin' just fancy lace an' satin corsets... an' "Down Under" bloody affable... too. That's it! Aye! Eh, wot?
Neither Will or me
be punching any Dragoon bastards through t'goddamn wall t'night. No. Willoughby´s bringin´his Guitar an' will sing from his bloomin' fine Pub Repertoire instead! Aye! A Patlander Fiddler be comin' too!
A Meux barrel o'Porter Beer's already coolin' in t'basement... fer repairs tomorrow... or fer t'day! In a blooody tin mug... next t'bloomin' Venus... wearin' Willoughby's helmet and a blue ribbon. 1st. Prize! T' bastard never fails! No. Ye
know. Help yerself! Aye, ye goddamn Aussie bastard and Brother!
It's yer day! May ye live forever, man!
Just fer t'hell of it... Want two redheads t'night, Melvyn?
Willoughby proving female frigidity is only due to bloody ignorant bastards and ice cold female feet... Eh wot? A fact, Willoughby
makin' two blondes an' a brunette... three! Aye, "sing" his favorite song... not praying or only praising the Good Lord insisting...: "Ohhh, God... Yesssss... God! Yessss, Willoughbyyyy...! Never stop...! Ohhhh..." awfully nicely in chorus last
night. As for pleasing 4 ladies... Willoughby says there's only so much toes can do... but practizing to become a fuckin' Master... he still insists; Love is an Art and Nothin' is Impossible! An´t´goddamn mindbogglin´bastard knows
what he´s sayin'... an' doin'. Aye!
We'll get a carriage t'night... not nice if any of us falls off his horse again... us in t' Cavalry an' all! Soon back!
on yer uniform, wash an' get sociable, Mel! Shave! Mark's got ye a clean shirt... an' not much fer shavin' when he doesn't really have te', tenight he will... ladies an' all, Will's Cutthroat Razor's still sharp. Outta whiskey, splash yer chin with
a drop o'gin after.
Nice young Ladies and even their mothers we've been kind o'escortin' an' even couples and t'Vicar, Dick Small be comin' t'celebrate in 2 hours!
Lizzie made Mutton Pies, Cannonball Pudding, Devilled Pork, Puddings and more, an' old "Thumbnail" is gettin' all t'bottles and goddamn puke outta t'garden... makin' it nice again. Beyond repairs... t'bloody shithouse's shot t'hell.
We'll bring more buckets... a nice chamber pot an' a solid screen. Pray it doesn't rain! Aye!
Rob McGregor Will Willougby Marcus
Pray excuse the awfully foul language!
Rob McGregor is at times not quite as sophisticated as Willoughby. Any
vulgarity was normally never tolerated and thought very ill of. No gentleman would hardly ever even utter a furious "dammit" in front of ladies or gentlemen at the time, but when the lads were alone... they did endulge and enjoyed using very unsuitable
words... just for the hell of it. The French troops however, indeed hearing the word goddammit often, called the British soldiers"Goddammits." The French were mostly nicknamed "Frogs" by the British.
writes with impeccable orthography when needed, but enjoyed writing as he pleased... when he could... even shortening "the" to just t'... and more...
"Afters" was a word often used instead of saying dessert.
"Eh wot?" Used by gentlemen of the upper class, mostly means... right or all right.
Certainly having problems, such as too tight uniform trousers... I have never heard
mention of in school and hardly a subject in any movie... They were no longer using breeches... so many prefering pantaloons or the awfully tight, rather fashionable trousers...often put on wet to even cling better... the flashy, unpractical uniforms of the
French and British Armies at the time... more suitable for ballrooms than for fighting are indeed criticized. The Times published an article in 1810, I believe it was... Just a tiny quote:
“… the irrationality of their helmets… the shortness of their jackets… the tightness of their trousers… which must be seen to be fully appreciated… As for wearing them… Well, there is
Worn almost like a second skin, the highly uncomfortable tight trousers... and not to call them something worse... were
indeed nicknamed “Bum Clingers” as were the trousers many civilian men used as well.
“Plump” George… The Prince of Wales “Whales” shortly after the reigning
Prince Regent in 1811, was too fat and already too full of gout to mount a horse in 1810.
Melvyn Cavenaugh is from Australia. Waltzing Matilda and quite a song, is the best known Bush Ballad and a Folk Song which
has become the unofficial national anthem of Australia. The official lyrics however, were written first in 1895 by a poet called Banjo Paterson and the song was first published as sheet music in 1903.
to me and always finding much inspiration in music and song, not only a good actor, Willoughby is quite an entertainer... so I like to think it's him that is singing when you hear a man sing on any of my pages... And having a mysterious talent for
languages... Normally speaking what he calls "Sunday English"... This time Will even sounds like an Aussie... copying the way Melvyn. speaks... That's it. Enough.